What is a Military Phony?
A military imposter is a person, guaranteed to be high on the narcissism spectrum, who makes fake claims about their military service. Since they are usually men, I will refer to these people as “he” throughout this article.
Military fakes have existed as long as humanity has been fighting wars, but the damage they did was pretty limited to their own hometown. Today, thanks to the Internet, military fakes do more damage to more people in a much wider area. It’s very important to be aware of these highly narcissistic guys so you don’t become their next source of narcissistic supply.
The FBI estimates that there are 300 SEAL imposters for every living SEAL…I put the number much, much higher than 300.”
Don Shipley
Military phonies generally fall into two categories: actual veterans who embellish their service record and civilians who never served a day. Usually they are motivated by wanting to impress other people or earn respect. I’ll explore their motivations more in depth in a separate article. Whatever their motives, their stories can be very convincing, especially if you don’t have a military background.
These military posers take great pains to create believable stories. They often wear clothing with military insignia or put service-related decals on their trucks. They might have a tattoo from whatever branch of the military they are pretending to be from.
They may show you medals or military ribbons, a uniform, dog tags, or other items to bolster their claims. You might notice that they use a military-related profile photo on LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram. Others may even go so far as to create fake separation papers, aka DD214, which is a federal offense.
A Census taken during August 2000, showed the surviving U.S. Vietnam Veteran population estimate to be: 1,002,511. During this Census count, the number of Americans falsely claiming to have served in-country is: 13,853,027. By this census, FOUR OUT OF FIVE WHO CLAIM TO BE Vietnam vets are not.
Don Shipley
Sometimes they may go online and join a veteran’s organization, such as the American Legion, hoping that the Post they join won’t ask for separation papers…and if someone at the post does ask for them, the con makes excuses, pushes off ever showing the DD214s.
As time goes on, they ingratiate themselves with Post members, volunteer at every event, so that eventually the fake veteran stops getting asked to produce the separation paperwork. After all, who would devote so much time to the Post if they weren’t a real vet? Eventually, some of these scammers even work their way into leadership positions of local Posts.
Two Categories of Posers
Military posers typically fall into two broad categories: actual veterans who embellish their service record and civilians who never served a day in their life. Being high on the narcissism spectrum, these guys are motivated by getting respect and adoration from others. They love, love, LOVE the attention when people come up to them, shake their hand and thank them for their service. They love, love, LOVE the attention of women automatically trusting them because they’ve been in the military.
All the Trappings of a Veteran
These frauds take great pains to create believable, highly detailed stories. They often wear clothing with military insignia to subtly draw attention to themselves. They might have Navy SEAL or Army Ranger stickers on their vehicles. Some may go so far as to get a “commemorative” tattoo from whatever branch of the military they are pretending to be from.
They may show you Purple Heart medals or military ribbons, their old uniform, dog tags, or other items to bolster their claims. You might notice that they use a military-related profile on their social media. Others may even go so far as to create fake separation papers, aka DD214s.
Infiltrating Veteran’s Organizations
Sometimes they hop online and join a veteran’s organization, such as the American Legion, hoping that the Post they join won’t ask for separation papers…and if someone at the post does ask for them, the con makes excuses, pushing off ever showing the DD214s.
As time goes on, these posers ingratiate themselves with Post members, volunteering at every event, so that eventually the fake veteran stops getting asked to produce the separation paperwork. After all, who would devote so much time to the Post if they weren’t a real vet? Eventually, some of these scammers even work their way into leadership positions of local Posts.
I Married a Military Fraud
This is exactly what happened to me. I met a great guy online. I had no military background and had no reason to suspect he was lying to me. He claimed to be a Navy SEAL and veteran, was active in the local American Legion and eventually came to be Commander of the Post. He fooled everyone including his first wife, his children, me, other veterans, his employer, the list goes on and on.
I suspected him of cheating on me, but I never suspected he was lying about his military service until I happened upon an article that talked about how to identify a real Navy SEAL. I read it out of curiosity. By the second paragraph, I knew I wasn’t possibly that lucky. I had Don Shipley do a search of the SEAL database and he confirmed hours later that my husband was lying. I will write more stories about my experience with my husband and how I came to understand that he is a narcissist and sociopath. In the meantime, be aware. Protect yourself. Don’t be a target.